


You Can Lead A Redmond To Heaven, But . . .

by DixieDale



Category: Clan O'Donnell - Fandom, Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 19:31:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16980444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: (A Christmas Story, with a twist.  If whimsy isn't your thing, feel free to skip.)Garrison and the guys were becoming fairly used to a Redmond showing up every now and again, and they had to admit each and every one of them was a unique challenge, no matter how similiar in looks they might be.This latest one, however, well, he was truly something else.





	You Can Lead A Redmond To Heaven, But . . .

Danny Redmond (actually born a legitimate Redmond - not one of the numerous by-blows the family had scattered around through the family's long existence) - of the blond, blue eyed variety, not one of the darker ones. Somehow, in a family well populated with the selfish, the avaricious, the lecherous, the venal, the out and out depraved, Danny was a fairly good guy. Not perfect, no, of course not. Danny had his fondness for excitement, mischief, as well as for a good time, a pretty girl, a jolly song and a mug of brew, but when it came down to it, he was pretty much a good guy. That's how he'd ended up where he was.

When he'd found his two brothers, one older, one younger, with that youngster, the child terrified and dodging into corners to try and escape them, he didn't step aside. No, he saw to it that the child came away unharmed and safely placed in hands that would see it remained that way. While he wasn't expecting his brothers to be particularly friendly after that, or his father to be particularly understanding, he truly hadn't expected them to smother him in his sleep two nights later. It had been his birthday, his twenty-second. That wasn't the present he'd been expecting.

He certainly hadn't expected to find himself at Heaven's Gate immediately thereafter. The impressive figure at the Gate had looked at him, then down at the Register, looked back at him, frowned a little in bewilderment, then hurriedly called over two of the other figures standing in the background. A hasty consultation and the first figure gave a helpless shrug. The Gate opened and he was motioned inside, with the earnest comment, "sorry for the delay. Don't get many Redmonds checking in up here, you know. Usually have a different Destination."

He had no idea how much time had passed since his arrival; time had little meaning here. It didn't really matter, of course. He was well content. He had enough to eat, if it was all a little bland. He had a job in the Library, where he was allowed to indulge his curiosity and taste for knowledge and adventure on his breaks and lunch-hour, and he had friends. 

And he had Eloise. He didn't quite know what to call Eloise. To call her a friend, like he did Michael, and Boris, and Luchow, and Misha, well, that seemed wrong somehow. She wasn't someone he'd engage in a hearty game of tug of war with, or share a pint with, necessarily. But she was SOMETHING. He just didn't know what to call someone he could just talk to, someone who would listen to his relating of the strange and wonderful things he discovered in the library, someone who would counter those tales with stories of her own. Someone who just made him feel good by just BEING there, just by smiling at him.

When he got too curious about that tower in the distance, and decided to go exploring and toppled off halfway up, (it was NOT his fault! That strange bird had ATTACKED him, causing him to fall!), Michael and Boris and Luchow and Misha had come, kept him company for at least an hour during his recovery. But it had been Eloise who'd sat in a straight chair beside him the rest of the time, telling him stories, singing him songs, giving warmth and comfort that let him drift off into a healing sleep.

As far as Eloise was concerned, Danny was . . . Well, he was just Danny. He was the one who could tease her into leaving her duties as soon as her schedule was over, rather than continuing to see how much else she could accomplish before sheer weariness overtook her. He was the one who made her relax out of the strongly disciplined, extremely organized mode she'd always cast herself in since early childhood. As the responsible and self-sacrificing elder daughter of a motherless family before she'd come to this place at the advanced age of twenty-three, that was where she'd found her niche. She sometimes feared that, with Danny around, her days of getting consistent A++++++ on her periodic Efficiency Ratings were long behind her. She found, much to her chagrin, she didn't really mind that, not nearly so much as she'd thought. Danny made her smile.

Eloise was the first, well, the only one Danny confided in about his new hobby. Sometimes he'd shared his newest enthusiasm with his friends, such as when he decided learning to use a saber would be great fun, or when he decided to learn to juggle, or when he decided to learn Latin and German and Celtic and Japanese (all at the same time). But this hobby, it was special. Well, it was also pretty much on the No-No list, he was sure of that, so he wasn't going to brunt it around. But Eloise, he could trust her, totally. He'd always known that, even from the beginning.

You see Danny had found a crack in the Barrier! Not a Portal, nothing so large as that. Just a crack, but one big enough he could lie down on the soft cloud cover and watch Below; he could have probably even slipped through it, if he was a mind to, as skinny as he was, but what would be the sense in that? But what was really so neat? He'd found that, if he knew what he wanted to look at, SPECIFICALLY knew, he could somehow make the crack show him that particular thing or person! And after a prolonged period of random watching, he'd found something, someone of particular interest. He'd found another Redmond! And not one of the nastier sorts, like his father and brothers, but someone he could actually relate to!

Oh, the man seemed not to be going by the family name, but there was no mistake. The man couldn't have looked any more like Danny than if Danny were looking into a mirror. And there was that same air of mischief about the man as well. And the man, seemingly known as Goniff (for whatever strange reason), had such interesting friends, and they all seemed to get up to such exciting adventures! Danny had always longed for adventure, adventures like he read about in some of the books in the Library. Well, he'd always had a taste for those, having cut his eyeteeth on the ones in the vast library of his family home.

"Eloise! You wouldn't believe it!" As he related the most recent adventures of his 'twin' and his friends, she had to agree. It all seemed most peculiar, in addition to being dangerous and loud and messy and unorganized and most unpeaceful. She didn't say any of that, of course, especially considering how excited Danny was, how his blue eyes shone with pure glee. She had to smile at that look in his eyes.

"You do know no one will be pleased if you're discovered, don't you?" trying to insert a little common sense into the picture, but not having the heart to dim his enjoyment too much.

He gave her a shy, slightly embarrassed, more than a little hopeful smile, and she felt something melt inside her heart, and she wasn't sure if she liked the feeling or not, but was pretty sure it was also on the No-No list. {"Well, it would HAVE to be, wouldn't it??!"} thinking of the warm rush that had overcome her at the sight of that smile, those shining blue eyes.

"You won't tell, will you, Eloise?" he pleaded.

"Well, of course not, Danny. Just . . . Be careful, please? It might be dangerous."

He laughed, a warm infectious laugh that did nothing to take away the odd feelings inside her. "I'm just watching, Eloise. Can't think of how that could be dangerous!" 

Eloise had been friends with, had watched Danny for whoever knows how long. She'd seen him do one thing after the other after the other, all in the idea of "how could THAT be dangerous??" She'd seen quite well how many of those notions had come out, and she sighed, wondering how this particular little hobby would affect her, whether she'd once again spend precious unpaid leave time sitting by his bedside while he mended. Hopefully it wouldn't eat up her vacation time as well, as had happened on more than one occasion.

He smiled at her again, and she knew that, once again, he'd get an idea, she'd caution him, he'd do as he intended, and she'd end up patching up his bruises. If it were anyone else, she'd just say "enough is enough," but with Danny . . . Well, with Danny, she just couldn't.

***

"Ruddy 'ell, Warden! Casino's right! You don't slow down, you're going to get all of us killed!" Casino had been grumping about that, with Goniff just half listening, truly still half asleep, still musing over the lovely interlude at the Cottage the night before. He hadn't paid as much attention as he should have obviously, because now, two days later, in the middle of Italy, he now knew Casino had been right on the mark.

I mean, anyone would have, should have seen it was best to wait it out! The intel had been off, as it was half the time, and the Abwehr was already on site. Surely it was better to wait til they left! Trying to pull a con with the German military intelligence service right there? Stupid, suicidal were only two of the words that came to Goniff's mind, and from the looks on his team mates faces, they had quite a list going themselves.

Predictably, Garrison ignored that groaned comment, and proceeded to explain how they were going to accomplish the task, "and maybe get a little bonus out of it! HQ might like being able to ask that Colonel in charge of that Abwehrleitstellen a few questions. Here's what we're going to do . . ."

****  
Danny watched in wide-eyed amazement at the activity below. He'd been so enthralled at the whole scene, had actually held his breath while the one known, alternately, as 'Warden', 'Lieutenant', 'Garrison', and 'Craig', ({"and why does he have so many different names???"}, outlined what seemed a highly improbable series of cunning actions culminating in an even more improbable outcome. 

He'd become accustomed to the wild plans and sometimes even wilder actions, but this one was the pinnacle, at least so far. Before he'd had confidence that it would all come out just fine; oh, maybe with some bruises and some blood and more than a little cursing, but this time? This time, he couldn't help but worry. 

Somehow, his 'twin' and the others, they'd become important to him, and not just as a source of entertainment. They actually MATTERED to him, and he wasn't accustomed to that, not within his own family, not much with anyone else. Well, maybe Eloise, but that seemed a totally different matter. It wasn't like Eloise ran around blowing up things or getting shot or stabbed or anything like that! He suppressed a sudden chuckle at the very thought! Gentle, patient, cautious Eloise! No, that wasn't very likely! {"Not an ounce of daring or adventure in her, bless her heart!"}

***

Casino lay behind the stone wall, gasping for breath. Yeah, okay, so that first part of the plan worked! He and Chief had just disabled the vehicles in the side yard, meaning that no one could pursue them right away on their exit. Big frickin deal, if you asked him! That meant they were all of one tenth into the Warden's scheme, with still plenty of time for them all to get killed, or be 'invited' in to the station for a little tea and gentle conversation, complete with thumbscrews and whips! 

"Hey, Indian. What's the odds the Warden will see sense and pull the plug on this one?" he rasped, looking at the man crouched beside him. A long look and dead silence was his answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Alright, onward and upward, let's get back to the others," and he heaved himself upright, taking care to keep the wall between him and the windows below.

***

Danny felt a presence at his side, and winced. This was a really lousy time to get caught, just when it was getting so exciting! He rolled his cornflower blue eyes upward, only to breathe a deep sigh of relief. 

"Eloise! Thought it might be someone else! Come, you've got to watch this!"

"Danny? What are you doing? You're well past due at the Library for your shift; the Librarian is quite put out," she started, only to have him wave her words away impatiently.

"I'll deal with that later! Come on, lay down here. It's ever so exciting!" and he started telling her all that had transpired so far. Reluctantly, almost against her will, certainly against her better judgement, she stretched out on the clouds next to him, and turned her attention to the scene below. She recognized the Redmond of the group, and Danny quickly named off the others, explaining their role in the team, the interactions. Slowly, certainly unwillingly, she found herself caught up in the personalities, the relationships, the sheer energy of the experience.

***  
Goniff had stumbled into the concierge of the hotel, caught himself, murmured a quick, almost inaudible apology, and hurried on, the key that had been in the man's pocket now firmly in his hand. {"This better work, Warden; aint lookin forward to ending up in front of a firing squad. Once was more than enough!"}. Well, hopefully that wouldn't happen, and at least his next part of the job proved to be just as easy as this one had been.

Easy it was, foolproof it obviously wasn't, as he ended up with the barrel of a rifle an inch from his nose. He'd have worried about what was happening with the other guys, except that wasn't necessary. He could see them quite easily, Garrison bleeding (of course!) from a shoulder wound, handcuffed to a chair. Casino was bleeding from a long gash upside his head, but coherent enough to add to the atmosphere with a string of curses. Actor looked intact, but was cuffed to another chair. And Chief? He looked more unconscious than otherwise, but also firmly bound and handcuffed, though with him it was to the leg of a heavy metal desk. Goniff swallowed heavily, {"yeah, Casino. Looks like you were right all along. Gonna get us all killed, no doubt about it!"}

It seemed the Abwehr officer wasn't inclined to ask any questions, wasn't even inclined to punch them around some. No, he just had them pushed into a cell, with the calm pronouncement, "I have to go listen to the Fuhrer's speech. When I return, you will stand before a firing squad. Please, feel free to enjoy your last little time on this earth, yes?" 

"Actually, other than the death threat, he don't seem such a bad guy, you know?" Goniff found himself saying with some surprise. The looks he got ran the gamut from macabre amusement to annoyance to just plain shock. Well, he meant it; he'd been scheduled for a firing squad once before, and the officer then had arranged for a highly-painful time preceeding the event.

***

"NO!" Danny exclaimed. "That's not right!" And before she could reach out a hand to stop him, could even get out a word, he had slipped through that crack and was gone!

She watched in fascinated horror as Danny Redmond appeared next to the building below, watched as he found and dressed in a strange uniform and, straightening himself into as imposing a figure as he could for his stature, made his way into the building. 

***  
Actor was waxing philosophical, and for once Casino didn't suggest he just shut up. It just didn't seem to matter anymore. Garrison was doing his usual "it's all my fault" second guessing of himself. Chief was withdrawing as far as he could while still keeping alert to any chance of making a break. And Goniff? He was torn between wishing he had the chance to say goodbye to Meghada, and wishing he had the nerve to say goodbye to Craig, properly, without any subterfuge, at what could be their last minutes. But knowing the krauts, anyone catch him doing that, even saying the words, could turn a pretty clean death into a very painful and prolonged one for both of them, maybe the whole team, so he didn't. He tried to let that one long look say for him everything he wanted to say, and sort of thought the message had been received, from the rueful half-smile and look he got in return.

Whatever they had been expecting, it hadn't been a harsh voice at the door, the stern order in impeccable German, "open the door. I am to take them to answer some questions that have just arisen. Quickly now! Open up and give me the keys to the handcuffs!" 

That voice sounded slightly familiar, the face accompanying it shockingly familiar, though somehow slightly out of focus. It was only with great force of will that no one said anything. It was only due to a great deal of luck that the guard who opened the door hadn't been on duty when the men had been confined; otherwise, he too might have spotted the similarity. Why he didn't seem to notice the slight haziness, who knows; maybe it was that everything else was slightly hazy as well, from his overindulgence in schnapps the previous evening.

"No, no, I am quite capable of handling these men. Off with you; I want you guarding the vehicles. We've been warned someone will try and target them!"

They were uncuffed, ordered out of the cell, moved along in front of the slight figure holding that revolver. Once they got outside, they heard a voice from behind, now much more hesitant, rather breathless in fact. "I do hope you know what to do next, for I certainly don't! And one of you had best take this weapon, as I haven't a clue how to use it." 

Well, yes, they did, to both, and quietly, through the shadows, they made their way to that vehicle on the outskirts. Soon they were out and gone, Chief making the jeep travel at a speed it surely wasn't designed for. 

***  
She was aghast, appalled, and a cry of desolation echoed through Heaven! "Danny!!! NO! Danny!!!" She saw him take a quick look up at her, surprise, dismay and excitement showing in equal measure in his expressive face. She watched, tears shining in her eyes, as she watched him ride away, a misty form perched haphazardly on the edge of the rear seat of that jeep speeding away from the scene, the five men in the jeep seemingly unaware of the true nature of their passenger. Unaware they were taking a piece of her heart with them.

***  
They were crouched in the rocks overlooking a rough clearing, waiting for the transport plane, when Garrison finally turned to the newcomer, only slightly hazy around the very perimeter now. "I really almost hate to ask this, but just who are you, and where the hell did you come from?" 

A wry grin (one frighteningly familiar to them) came over the slender blond's face, "the name's Danny Redmond, and actually, you might find this rather difficult to believe, Lieutenant, but it's not exactly Hell I came from."

They listened, they watched as the man beside them gradually became more and more solid, Casino muttering things under his breath that they all figured they were just as well off not understanding.

Actor turned to Garrison and asked the question they all wanted to know the answer to. "Just how do we explain this to HQ, Craig? Someone is bound to notice we left with one Goniff and came back with two!" 

"Beats the hell out of me, Actor. Give me some time; I'm sure I'll come up with something," watching as his resident pickpocket chattered away to his 'twin', that 'twin' chattering back with enthusiasm, but without the Cockney accent. "I just wonder how Meghada is going to react."

***

The Librarian had sighed heavily at the news, removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how he would explain this, first to Eloise, then to his superiors. Well, maybe his superiors wouldn't be all that surprised, but Eloise was a different matter. He reached inside his dress coat for an immaculately laundered and folded white handkerchief and handed it over to her. He had a feeling she was going to need it.

"Well, I suppose I should have been expecting this; after all, he is a Redmond," he said, getting a wide-eyed look of protest from the pale faced Eloise.

"Eloise, do you know just how few Redmonds ever make it into Heaven? In all the time I've been here, exactly four. Do you know how many Redmonds still remain in Heaven? I mean now that Danny has departed? Exactly none. As hard as it is for a Redmond to make it into Heaven, it is even harder to get them to stay."

Eloise found her mouth hanging open in shock. While she was sure it was quite rude, well, who could blame her. She hadn't even known you COULD leave Heaven once you were accepted in! She listened as the Librarian continued, his kind voice trying to explain, to comfort her.

"There are various theories as to the reason for that, of course; you know developing theories is a major hobby around here. Well, it would be; we are here long enough, in most cases, to see whether our theories pan out. For my part, I think it is that the Redmonds, even the very few good ones, are simply too 'earthy' to remain here for long. Too earthy, too adventurous, too full of mischief, too enamoured with the simple pleasures the other world offers, to remain in such a calm, even placid atmosphere. They tend to get bored, no matter how we try to match them with occupations to keep them interested." 

He comforted her as best he could, though his discomfort level grew sharply when she asked him, very simply, bewilderment showing clearly in her pale brown eyes, "and what am I to do without him?"

He cleared his throat sharply, "now, now, Eloise. You will do exactly what you have been doing, of course. You will continue your work in Administration. You will continue teaching the Orientation Class to the new arrivals. You will start working on getting your Efficiency Rating back up to A++++++, rather than the rather disappointing A+++ you've slipped to under Danny Redmond's unfortunate influence. You will move on." 

Somehow he doubted it was going to be as easy, as cut and dried as all that, not from the stricken look on her face. Still, he hadn't felt it was appropriate to tell her in any detail about the first three Redmonds, York and Aldrich and Olin, who had come to Heaven, each in their own time, and eventually left. Well, rather, he hadn't felt it appropriate to tell her about Mattie, Devin, and Winifred, who had been left behind, and eventually, somehow, found a way to follow after.

No, she didn't need that encouragement, especially with the Christmas season full upon them. She didn't need to know about the special times of the year when wishes could come true, if you wanted something hard enough, were willing to give up something of overwhelming value, just to get your wish. Particularly when Christmas, and the full month preceding Christmas, was one of the most powerful of those times. He suspected that was part of what had enabled Danny Redmond to exit through that crack in the wall. (He made a note to talk to Maintenance about fixing that, as soon as possible.)

No, Eloise had fully earned her spot in Heaven. And besides, she was simply too valuable to them for them to lose her, and he wanted no part of encouraging her, nay, even giving her a hint of a notion, in that direction. Still, as she left his office, he had to fight the impulse to tell her the rest of the story, about how Mattie had, somehow, though no one had a clue as to how, found her way to following after York; how Devin and Winifred had, in their own time, made their way past all precautions set in place after that fiasco, to follow and find Aldrich and Olin. 

He determined to keep a parental eye on Eloise; she truly was upset, he knew that. Soon, though, he realized she'd taken his advice to heart, was resuming her duties, her life, if just a little sadder for her loss. No, he knew he didn't have to worry about her any more, so he gave a brisk nod and went back to figuring how to fit in that new category, Psychology, and planning for the upcoming additions that were sure to be needed.

 

"Eloise," a gently chiding voice filled the sky, and she closed her eyes tight and scrunched up her nose, then slowly looked up at the stern face hovering above her. 

"Yes, My Lord?"

"I thought you were content here, my daughter. Was I wrong?" He asked, sorrow filling his voice.

Her eyes widened, "oh, no, My Lord. I have been very content, I promise you."

"Yet you seek to leave?"

She swallowed, then straighted her spine, drew her courage around her. "I do not seek to leave, My Lord, not exactly. I seek to FIND. I seek to find something very precious to me that I have lost."

He stared down at her for a very long time, then nodded slowly. "Well, if you are sure. You ARE sure, are you not, my daughter? There is no turning back, you know. Once you depart, you will not be allowed to re-enter, not for all eternity."

She stilled, the sheer enormity of her actions forcing her to pause, think again of what she was giving up. Then, in a quiet, respectful voice, "yes, My Lord. I understand, and I am quite sure."

She was more than a little surprised, she was indeed shocked as the face hovering over her changed, developed a kind smile tinged with mischief. "Then come along, my daughter. No sense hanging about here, not when you have other places to be," and he motioned her to one side, and with a wave of a majestic hand, revealed the Portal she'd been seeking so relentlessly for the past several of her off-duty hours.

She hesitated, looked back, only to see him flapping his hands at her, rather as if she'd been a stray duckling, "well, get along with you, child. My Blessings upon you and yours. Oh, and give my regards to my old friend Erdu when you meet her. I imagine that will be some time down the road, but it will come eventually. I think you and she will get along just fine. She, like you, seems to have a knack for appreciating Jewels Amongst The Cobblestones. And say hello to the other Redmonds, York and Aldrich and Olin, and their loved ones, Mattie and Devin and Winifred. I rather miss them, you know, but I know Erdu has gathered them up safely as well.

She still hesitated, looked back, "the books don't mention this, nor the Librarian either. Doesn't he know?

The kindly look on His face now changed to one of intense amusement, his eyes twinkling, "that I like to give an occasional Christmas gift myself? Well, why shouldn't I do so, if I like? I gave my greatest Gift at Christmas; it only stands to reason that I might occasionally like to commemorate that with a small individualized gift every few millenium. And as for the Librarian and the others? Even in Heaven, my dear, there's a Need To Know list!" 

Eloise was pretty sure it wouldn't be appropriate to giggle at that, though she had the strongest urge to do so.

Between one breath and the next, she was at, through, and then standing on the other side of the Portal. At least, she assumed she was on the other side, though it bore the semblance of a pleasant garden, part flowers and trees, but mostly a sprawling kitchen garden situated next to a trio of cottages. She heard voices inside the first one, and hesitantly made her way forward. 

"And Danny, the Grandmother says she's looking forward to having you come to Homeland. It's ever so interesting a place, you know, and there's all kinds of things for you to turn your hand at. I misdoubt you'll be bored! And if ever that should happen, well, it's not like we've not Enclaves scattered around the globe for you to visit and investigate." 

Eloise heard a very familiar voice, and felt herself tremble in anticipation. She opened the door after the briefest of taps, and all faces turned to her. But there was only one face that caught her gaze, even though there were two so very much alike many wouldn't have been able to see the difference. Well, except that one was perhaps just a teensy little bit less solid, of course; oh, solid enough, but with just the faintest wisp of a haze around the edges, pretty much as she could tell she was.

"Eloise???!" The cry was fervent, heart-felt, filled with sheer gladness.

She ventured a quiet smile, "Merry Christmas, Danny. Did you miss me?" She didn't need a reply, not really, not with the warmth of his arms around her, not considering how tightly those arms held her. Silently she sent a final thought winging upwards, {"Thank you, My Lord! Merry Christmas!"}, getting a chuckle that rumbled through her mind, {"and a Merry Christmas to you, Eloise!"}.

She looked into blue eyes smiling down at her, then closed her own brown ones as she felt his lips touch hers for the first time.

She heard a voice in the background. "Sheesh, here we go again! I swear, everytime we turn around, there's something else weird happening!"

"Ruddy hell, Casino, don't you go fussing again! It's Christmas! Sides, don't look weird to me at all, just another Christmas gift for Danny what arrived a bit late!"

"That's right, Casino. Turn around and reach another plate and silver from behind you, and move over so Danny's Eloise can sit down!" 

Garrison shook his head, wondering why he'd worried so about how to explain things to Meghada. It seems she hadn't even turned a hair, not with Danny, or now with Eloise. {"I would be interested to see what WOULD put her in a flap,"} he thought casually, then felt the universe still, as if listening to his words. Frantically he thought to himself, {"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! Please, I swear, I didn't mean it!!!"}

Somehow, though, he was afraid he was too late. Someone, something, somewhere had been listening.


End file.
